11 Ways to maintain a healthy relationship

Studies have shown that couples who display gratitude towards each other experience deeper levels of satisfaction within the relationship and are a lot closer to each other than those who don’t show gratitude.

Gratitude creates generosity and appreciation. It all starts with being grateful for your partner which leads to appreciating them and the things they do. Through gratitude, you become aware of their value as a human, after all, people tend to be the best versions of themselves when they are being appreciated.

Gratitude is the best attitude!

Adopting an attitude of gratitude can be beneficial, not only for romantic relationships but for all relationships. Once we cultivate gratitude within ourselves it filters through into the relationships and people around us, creating happy, thankful and grateful relationships.

Next time you find yourself feeling underappreciated and disgruntled in relationships, take a breather and think of all the things and people that make you grateful and watch your mood instantly change for the better.

3. Healthy communication

One of the most important skills when it comes to relationship maintenance is communication. However, if you’re not careful, communication can actually make relationship problems worse. For as much as we’re taught that communication is the key to solving all of a relationship’s problems, it remains one of those areas where couples have vastly different ideas of what communication does and doesn’t mean.

Whether you want to increase the intimacy in your relationship, find ways of getting closer with your honey or simply find more effective ways of clearing the air, you want to make sure that you’re not just heard but understood. And that means making sure you’re communicating the right way.

4. Understanding ups and downs

Every relationship has its ups and downs. It is inevitable, really. We grow as human beings, life circumstances change, and new stressors emerge. All of these things are out of our control, and, as significant as they are, we may pay little attention to the changes as they become an intimate part of our every day life.

People tend to believe that we have control over our relationships. Thus, nothing quite as disquieting as when your marriage or relationship is doing poorly and you don’t know why or how to fix it. You feel it when you wake up; you notice it during dinner.

Sexual intimacy with your partner starts to dwindle, and your patience begins to snap. Suddenly you find that your relationship is in an uncomfortable, dark place, and you’re not certain when or how this happened. Just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at a continuous high. 

5. Your fault your responsibility

Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part to maintain a healthy relationship. Doing so is an empowering reminder that you have control over the role you play in your relationship. Taking responsibility creates trust and dependability.  When you take responsibility for your behaviors, you demonstrate to your partner your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, which in turns encourages your partner to be open and authentic with you.

For you, taking responsibility looks like practicing self-awareness. Another way is being able to apologize and accept that what you do affects your partner. For your partner, taking responsibility looks like having open communication with you about their feelings and being willing to admit they can grow from the hard parts of the relationship. Your partner learns to take responsibility when they own their behaviors and hold themselves accountable to their actions.

6. Spend quality time

Quality time is often associated with prolonged periods of rest, such as days out together or going on holiday. However, no hard and fast rule says it can only come at such times. For example, it is perfectly possible to have moments of high quality with loved-ones on a daily basis. This will often come about most effectively when a specific time is given over to talking and sharing information about the day. In many family set-ups, meal times taken together offer just such an opportunity.

If you have a young family or other demands on your daily life, then finding sufficient time to maintain a relationship can be problematic. To achieve more time with your partner that could reasonably be described as high in quality, it may be necessary to make time in both of your diaries where distractions from digital devices and other sources will be banned.

Ideally, you will find a babysitter to look after the kids and spend time in each others’ company without anyone else. Some married and other long-term couples achieve just such a framework by going on dates just as they might have done when they first met.

7. Not me but we

In a new meta-analysis published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers analyzed 30 studies of nearly 5,300 participants and discovered that couples who often say “we” and “us” have more successful relationships and are overall happier and healthier.

While the study only finds a correlation and it’s possible that happier couples are just more inclined to use these pronouns, researchers theorize that it’s more than likely an interdependent relationship. And in some cases, actively using these pronouns more may help to shift our perspective and maintain a healthy relationship.

8. Relationship above money

Close relationships are far more important than money and fame and will keep people happy into their old age, researchers revealed. Here’s something you may already know: many couples struggle with money issues in their relationship. In fact, you and your partner may be experiencing problems of your own around the issue of money.

Here’s something you may not know: although money gets much credit for breaking relationship harmony, it’s rarely the core issue between partners. This may be hard for you to believe. Yet, imagine your money as a symptom of something larger. This may help to explain why constant bickering about money rarely resolves anything. The more you focus on correcting the symptom instead of the root problem, the greater your frustration and possible damage to your relationship. So to maintain a healthy relationship you have to set priority in your life.

9. Control your expectations

There are two words in all relationships that can lead to their downfall: unrealistic expectations. It is but human to expect your partner to give you as much as you give them or sometimes, more. However, there is a fine line between knowing what you deserve versus having preconceived notions of how your partner should behave.

To maintain a healthy relationship there are certain expectations, like being treated well or being respected. Yet sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that don’t mirror what we anticipate to happen.

When you love unconditionally without expecting anything, you’ll establish a special and rare relationship anchored on affection that is free and non-possessive. Your relationship will be pure and honest because you are not merely using another to satisfy general self-interested desires.

10. Helping hand at home

Shared household chores in your family can help in improving your relationships. You must have not thought it this, but it can literally save your marriage and even help in improving family bonds with your spouse and children. Household chores had always been the main focus of the women in the house, but it has not been considered as a relationship-building tool.

Household chores in your family are perhaps the most underrated tasks. Study have eventually proven that household chores in your family should be shared amongst family members and that too for a good reason. A family that performs household chores together lives happily together and maintain a healthy relationship.

11. Sometimes let it go

Of course, sidestepping an argument is only the first step in sorting through an emotionally charged issue. Sometimes you have to dig beneath the surface so that you can talk about the beliefs and feelings underneath. Then there’s work to be done in negotiating a compromise or coming to an agreement. However, arguments keep you spinning in circles, and usually make the problem worse.

Often during a fight, our thoughts and emotions can become cloudy or irrational. Fighting in this mindset causes more discourse, as we typically say things we don’t really mean.

If the argument becomes too heated, step away for a while and regain your perspective. Allow your mind to cool down by taking a walk or spending some time alone. Usually, you can approach the conflict with a renewed attitude once you clear your head.

It is one the best bway to maintain a relationship as it does not much energy.